How to stop eating and start living

Having overweight? Then just stop eating. Does it seem too radical? But how about loosing weight within several days?

If you wanna see yourself slender and happy, then you have to say goodbye to the following foods (as it's by no means easy, so use some tricks to cheat yourself):

1. Sweets - season it with salt, pepper, or both.
2. Fish - don't cut the heads and look at the eyes of these poor creatures, full of pain and voiceless reproach. Are you still craving for some fish?
3. Meat - how can you eat the animal corpses, so fattening as well?
4. Vegetables - buy a rapid-pesticide-herbicide-and-so-on-meter and you will never say that all these carrots and tomatoes are healthy.
5. Bread - dry it before eating and you won't gobble too much (esp. if you lose all of your teeth, trying to bite off a piece of dried bread).
6. Big Mac - change it to a small Mac, then very small Mac, then tiny Mac etc. until you can see your Mac only thru microscope.
7. Beer - look at this foamy liquor and say - really, you don't see that it looks like human fluid, poured in the glass just now and ready for analysis? Or simply heat it up before drinking.
8. Tea and coffee - caffeine is your archenemy. Caffeine = headache = more caffeine = spleen = sweets = calories = overweight. Dilute it with water in the ratio of 0.001:1000 and enjoy the trace quantity of caffeine in this slightly colored cocktail.
9. Milk - does this absolutely-fat-free-blue-white liquor, looking like whitewash, attracts you with its witness and fabulous usefulness?
10. Toothpaste - do you know how many calories are in a drop of toothpaste?

We aren't aware of it too, but you must stop overusing it, on the off-chance. Once a month is enough.

If you're not able to stop eating this mix of corpses and salty sweets, washing down with whitewash, then you have to become a bankrupt. It's your one and only way to reach the mental and physical easiness, whatever you will find yourself on the earth or in the heavens a week after.