How to happy birthday someone to drive him crazy

Do you know a way to make someone extremely happy on his B-Day? Read the article and test a birthday person's sense of humor and abilities to be happy-go-lucky.

Birthday Cake
1. Use the spitdevils instead of candles.
2. Add salt and pepper into cream.
3. Black-white colored cream is the most actual this season. Let cake be a little gothic, a sort of emo cakes.

Birthday Party
1. Put guests up to dress as doctors and play as if birthday person is a coo-coo. You have to catch him and tie him up tightly, looking at his eyes and asking if he is ok.
2. Put guests up to pose as coo-coos. Let birthday person think he is a coo-coo, cause everyone cannot be a coo-coo.

Birthday Traditions
Pinching, spanking, pulling for ears...no, these are too cold ideas. You need something extra hot and super new, for example, you can organize dousing with icy water from a pail (as many times as his age) or simply send him into a space trip (as many turns around the Earth as his age).

Birthday Congratulations
Send several dozens of the telegraph messages (no online mailing, only real telegrams!) as if from different originators - Santa Claus, the Pope, Bill Gates, Madonna, Harry Potter etc. With the same message: "I'm keeping tabs on you. Behave yourself!"

Birthday Song
Forget about Happy Birthday to You, it isn't what he needs today. You have to sing something more chiming with his mood, for example "Relax, take it easy!"

Birthday Gift
1. Take on lease an elephant from a zoo. You don't risk, because birthday person will ask you to take it back. But you impress him anyway.
2. Present a laptop or icebox - toy, inflatable or explosible. It'll be very funny - to see his disappointed face!
3. As girls love roses, so it is the best gift for them. Give a yellow potted rose or huge bouquet of blue synthetic roses.
4. A bottle of expensive alcohol. Great gift. But suck it dry first - open the bottle carefully, avoiding of damage to packing and suck it out, using the disposable syringe (just pierce the cork and voila! - the bottle is empty).
Fill it with liquid of the same color.

Warning!
Don't forget about your own birthday and get ready for a hot birthday party in your name.