How to turn your ex-girlfriend's wedding into hell

• Tell everybody that groom is a gay, and he made love with three male strippers at the bachelor party last night.
  
  
• Phone the guests and say that bride and groom are dreaming of modest wedding ceremony without any gifts. Enjoy the bride's disappointed face.
  
  
• Ask the groom how often he has sex with bride, remembering that she always was a frigid girl.
  
  
• Tell everybody that bride-couple are going to spend their honeymoon with Swedish couple who likes some sort of bizarre sex.
  
  
• Steal all CDs with romantic songs and change to the CDs with hard rock.
  
  
• Flirt with bridesmaids, kiss them and whisper the dirty words in their ears until they go red and agree for anything if only to dispose of you.
  
  
• Drop to knees before your ex-girlfriend when she'll be entering to church, say thank you that she left you and start kissing her shoes.
  
  
• Act as if you're not at wedding party but as if you're at funeral ceremony. Cry, remembering the best moments of your life with bride and tell as if she is dead.
  
  
• Whistle loud every time when bride-couple kiss and clamor to stop this false show because they play bad.
  
  
• Sham blind and start searching for something in bride's decollete as if you've confused it with your pocket.
  
  
• Give a scream in the middle of wedding ceremony and say that your heart has been broken because of false bride's words about eternal love, as she already said it, making love with you.
  
  
• Sniff the bride round, looking as if you're surprised at the disgusting smell and ask her where she has found the perfume with farm aroma.
  
  
• Meet your first love at your ex's wedding and understand that you still love this girl. Leave the ceremony with her. Your ex will be pissed-off. No doubt.