How to draw attention to your CV

Wanna get the job of your dream? Then your curriculum vitae should be non-standard, shocking, formally correct but essentially pure challenge!

Paper
Blue or pink, with teddy bears and roses, emitting pleasant odor, fluffy to the touch with lipstick print. Effect will be stronger if you're a guy.

Covering letter
Let your mommy drop some lines about you. Nothing can describe you better than the story of your first thrilling adventure from chair to floor.

Address and telephone number
Encode it and let them decrypt. It's rather fascinating occupation for every employer.

Interruption
You haven't been working since last November because of your favorite cat's death. You loved her so much that wasn't able to leave her alone - dead and so defenseless.

Experience
Yes, you started working as soon as you were born. Do they think that sucking is not a work?

Achievements
You won a victory in the strawberry eating competition. You know how to say "I love you" in several languages. And you've collected several hundreds of empty beer cans!

Good points
You like Pepsi. You love pets. You adore government. You are black. You are woman.

Bad points
You have stolen a chocolate bar from a moll, last summer. But you're honest in repentance. All the more that it was a very small bar.

Hobby
List all of your hobbies, even the most wacky and kinky. It's possible, the employer loves watching the alligators fighting too.

Evil habits
You can't work on weekends because you're drinking alcohol from Friday evening to Sunday evening.

Salary of your dream
One thousand. Bucks. Per day. It's enough.

Photo
If you're a girl, then attach a photo where you're in cheerleader dress.
If you're a guy...do the same.

Surprise
Make a picture of an expensive car overleaf and write that it will be a present for employer.

Tip for women
Inform that you love to work in lingerie. And you have several dozens of camisoles. Attach the photos.

Tip for men
Let them know how many high-ranking relatives you have.